Consequences of believing everything you think


A dear friend wrote me an email.  Shared with me his latest discovery in using The Work in his life.  Told me that he realized that all these time, he had been doing The Work at a very shallow level, only at the top level, that he has never taken the questions inside of him.  And he asked why during all those time together either in the workshop or in teleclass setting that I never told him the right way of doing The Work.

I just love his mind.  I love receiving his emails sharing with me his progress in using The Work and his realizations.  They are such wonderful gifts.

His email has reminded me of a time when I thought I had “It”, I got it figured out, I “know”, and before long, I was in a box, anticipating another chance of confirming the belief that “I know”.  I was no longer free to explore, to be a student again.

So now, every time my mind tells me that “I know, I got it!!!” I smile, I enjoy the thought and am aware of where it will lead me and if I feel that I am “tinted” by this thought, meaning, I can feel that I believe this thought, I investigate it before it gets into a big tantrum having to live it out in the world.

Yes… that is the outcome of believing everything you think!!!

The cost of wanting it our way

 

A dear friend was stressed out.  She wanted her 5 year old son to live with her while in reality, he is living with his grandmother in the country side.  She had the thought that he would have a healthier life with her than with his grandmother.  She wanted to do The Work so that she can take away her stress that stops her from having her dream comes true.

“Take this hindrance away from making my dreams come true”.  That would be what her mind would say.  As I look at her situation, I realized that self-inquiry does help us to make our dreams come true.  It definitely can meet her there.  However, not in the way that she would think it is done.

If we look at everything we want to do in life, it comes from a thought.  In this case, her son will have a healthier life with her.  This could be one of the many thoughts that prompts her to want her son to live with her.  To me, thoughts are not wrong or right.  They are just natural phenomena.  The problem comes when we believe them and are attached to them.

If I want my son to live with me but my circumstances does not allow it now, and insist on wanting that, won’t I be killing over myself, blaming for not making that happen… and may even be led onto thoughts like I am not a good mother, or that he will grow up being someone “less than”.

And as I can take the time to sit and find how his not living with me could be as good or better thing, my mind settles and calm down.  I get to experience the reality in front of me,  the goodness of things happening.  And it doesn’t mean I will not work towards getting my son to live with me.  It just means I can continue having a life working towards it and not be stuck and paralyzed with the belief that it has to happen now.

Life seems to have more space when we take time to explore the space between our thoughts, emotions and actions.

 

Do I need goals in life?


I came across a concept a few days ago as I was reading a book, “we all need goals in life”.  As I look at the concept, I noticed that I don’t have much reference to that.  And as I asked myself what my goals are, there were no image that came up.  I am not too sure what goals are to me, let alone my goals.

To many people, I may sound like a failure, a lost soul, or someone without an aim in life.  And I totally agree with how I could look that way… and the strange thing is I am ok with that.

And I could remembered the time when I used to have goals, especially goals that I want myself to have, goals that I think will be good for me, goals that I think will make me happier.  And I get to see that those are “standards” that I have taken on as my goals without checking in with myself, Really.  And the result is a lot of stress, denial and self-blame.

So, what is my goal to me now?  I do what comes up for me to do.  Let me see, I get up, I get to do the things I have planned and scheduled to do.  And when it comes to me to work on a project, I listen to it and stay open and see if it can be done and then work towards that OR don’t work towards it.  And it doesn’t mean it will not happen the next minute, day, or week.  I just can’t know.

However, I don’t force myself to do it like I used to, no more abuse from the inside.  Here is a mind that knows it can’t be controlled.  Frustrating, yes, it can be in the beginning.  And the mind that is more open looks for reasons why it is a good thing that it is not getting what it wants.  And it ain’t an easy job.  It’s real research work!!!  And when it finds those reasons, it rests in the balance, I love it that I have it and I also love it that I don’t have it.  And in that space, the clear mind arise and it rests in the experience of what it thought will bring it by having a goal and out of that fluid actions happen.

And that may look like a woman just sitting down in front of a T.V.

Isn’t that interesting?