“I shouldn’t think about him”

A dear friend was confused and angry with herself.  She told me that she was afraid of the truth, she didn’t want to see it.  When asked what is her truth that she was so afraid to see, she shared about her inquiry of “my daughter shouldn’t think about him (her father)”.  She felt frustrated when she discovered the turnaround, ” I shouldn’t think about him.”  She saw that she still thought about him sometimes and she couldn’t control that part of her.  “How could I still think about him when we are divorced and he already has someone else in his life.”  reasoned the mind.

As I saw this, it reminds me of a part of me that wants to control and get it right.  “Can you control who you think about?  Can you control who you are attracted to?”  I asked.  To think that we can do that is quite a painful place to be.

And with The Work, arriving at a turnaround like this, “I shouldn’t think about him” puts me in a state of humility, it allows me to see that I don’t have control, that many things in life is a happening.  And when we have the courage to go deeper, we find that it is not thinking about him that frustrates us.  It’s what we are putting onto the thought. For example:

If I still think about him, that means:
I am not over him.
I am weak.
I am still in love with him. (which I am not supposed to)

As we spend time inquiring this list above, we may enjoy the image of him appearing in our mind when the thought, “I shouldn’t think about him” comes.  You may come to find equal truth in the opposite of what your list says — If I still think about him, I am over him, I am strong and I am not in love with him.

Yes, you can wake yourself up from the nightmare.  😉