“Personality doesn’t love, we/they always want something”
I hear this from Katie many years ago and coming to see the truth of this statement has liberated me from many unnecessary pain in my life.
For years, we have been told and taught ways to be.
“Be generous, don’t be selfish…”
“Be kind, always be polite, don’t be rude….”
Just to name a few.
And if we really look hard enough, are we all kind, polite and generous? Why aren’t we?
Some of us spend so much time striving to be that and when we aren’t as good as we thought we are, we punish ourselves, we abuse ourselves. And if we are “good” enough we project out onto others, and we get upset when we read about how people are not kind, not generous and rude to each other.
If we have enough courage to go inside, we come to see that every time I TRY to be kind, polite, generous, doing good, I am trying to get something for myself. I am trying to do, say something or act in certain way so that you will think certain way about me, to give me what I want – the image that I want you to see me as. And this is a lot of hard work.
So, the question is, if we don’t work so hard to be kind, polite and generous, does it mean that we are cruel, rude and selfish? This is what your mind would have you think.
Is it really true that if one does’t act that way, one is cruel?
How do I treat the person when i think this thought?
How would I treat him/her if I never have the thought that if he/she doesn’t do this, he/she is cruel?
And with a turnaround that he/she is kind, if our minds are open enough, we come to see that what he/she does can be a kind thing also.