A Class about Goals


I ran an online class about getting what we want using The Work.
I created a playground for all of us to set goals for the new year. We look at things that we wanted to achieve, to do, to complete but have postponed, not putting as our priority, things that we are not willing to face it, kept procrastinating on.

I noticed that some of us are so used to be driven by stress, by things that we need to do out of survival and when we have worked and undo the stress, we don’t move forward. It’s like there is no reason to move forward, and people became stagnant, and they wondered what happen to them.

But, if we can simply work on the mental blocks, won’t we be more open to trying new things, freer to explore, play and experience….

And if we set an intention for our goals, and we identify the inner experience we would like to have when we have achieve our goals, then we are playing an inner game. And it becomes a lot more fun and best of all, you can never fail in this little game of life.

If The Universe Is Friendly…

A dear friend asked if I can do a free class for our dear friends. I asked her for a topic and she said, “Katie always says, “The Universe is Friendly”, if this is true, how can COVID-19 pandemic be good for us?

I pondered for a while and my mind went to a time when a friend in Singapore who attended my workshop three years ago, told me during a dinner gathering, “Sue, you know, when I question the statement — “my dog shouldn’t die” in your workshop, when we came to the turnaround — my dog should die, I was really upset and couldn’t even face it. Now, three years later, I could see how his death was a gift for me.

Wow, really? Tell me more about it!” I asked.

After his death, I felt so sad and miserable and I started to seek for deeper meaning of life and did some healing work. Then I started to come out and meet my old friends and made new friends. I feel happier now than before. ” she said.

When we are going through hardship in our lives, it is very hard for the mind to think beyond its circumstances in the moment. At some level, we are resisting to even consider the possibility of how this pandemic is a good thing for us.

It takes quite some willingness and stillness to contemplate a big topic like this. And sometimes the gifts come many years later.

How could this pandemic or the motion control order (MCO) happening now in Malaysia a good thing for me? This question requires me to get still, looking at before the MCO, and now. What is happening within me, me with my family, my work and my financial standing.

The mind would rush to look for all proofs, flood our minds with images of businesses that are closed, reports in the media about the amount of people who lost their jobs, the thinning of our bank accounts, the rise of domestic violence cases reported in the news….

Take some time, go in and find what is true for you, not for the purpose of proving someone right or wrong, but simply for the love of truth because only that can take us deeper into ourselves and allow us the experience of peace and goodness that is always there, waiting to be discovered.

Enjoy the trip. 🙂

Fears around Judging Others

The first step in the process of doing The Work is to write a worksheet judging a particular person in our lives.
I remembered many years ago, I was invited to give a introductory talk to a group of Reiki Masters, a group of ladies that does hands-on healing. When I started talking about judging people, I saw absolute resistance, shocked, fear on their faces. “I don’t want to attract the dark, negative energy into my life”, “I don’t like to judge people”, “why do something so unproductive like judging?” these were the comments and feedback I got about writing a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet.

I could relate to all these beliefs and why they see such resistance to judging others. However, the work is about writing the judgement down on paper, one doesn’t have to confront the person he/she is judging. We do that to enlighten ourselves from the untrue stories that is keeping us separated from the other person.

The truth is, we judge ANYWAY, whether we like it or not, although we may not want to admit to that! 😉

“What if they know what we are thinking about them?”
This thought would bring out a lot of fears in people who are afraid they will lose something like love, approval, acceptance from others. Yes, it is very normal to have fears. Until we are willing to risk, to rather be authentic with ourselves and others, we will continue wearing the mask to get what we want from others without knowing that we could have that otherwise.

Do you really want to know the truth?

For many years, I termed myself as a truth seeker and Buddhism has been the foundation of where I learned most of my life principles from. However, the more I knew, the more painful my life was. A simple teaching that says, “True seekers never see mistakes in others” – in chinese 若真修道人,不见他人过 was the killer. I knew in my mind that I was not supposed to see mistakes in other, but, I saw that in everyone that is around me and I couldn’t stop myself from judging them pettily in my mind, which made me even more mad with myself. How could I still judge and see mistakes in others after being a Buddhist for so long!!! I couldn’t find a way out of my misery.

And when I found The Work, I really saw how it was helping me to live the principles – not by mind control or denial or by force. It was through answering the 4 questions and slowly, gently, come to see that I am a human being. It’s through the mirror on the outside that I come to know my very own self. It takes a lot of courage and willingness to be vulnerable as the ego starts to loosen and not be the center of my life.

So, what does it take to have truth as the foundation of your life? I remembered those days when I already have The Work in my life, I would go to my friends and ask them, “if you can say anything about me without worrying about me getting upset, angry or unfriend you, what would that be, what would you say?” I would really listen as they said what they said, and really go inside and feel if there is any uneasy feelings around what I hear. I wanted to allow people to share what is true for them, I wanted to hear their truth, not what I want to hear. I became so courageous because I knew what to do if I notice any hurt feelings, feeling of wanting to run away, feeling of being victimised, feeling of being misunderstood, feeling of separation.

Through The Work and many worksheets that I did, I come to realized for myself that it is never what a person says that hurts me, it is what I think he says that is hurting me. Instead of taking it personally, trying to hide or suppress my feelings, and cut the person out from my life, I question what I think he/she is saying. People no longer have to hide or careful with words around me, they get to be themselves. And I never have to do that to myself and others either. Relationship becomes very simple, authentic and open.

So, if you feel it is very scary to hear the truth about what someone thinks about you, question your thinking. That’s all it takes. It’s a fun ride and there is so much freedom on the other side of the ride.

Peace in the Moment

windowAs I look out of my window, I feel a sense of gratitude for life itself.
The mind looks and wants to find if something happens that is the cause of this feeling. Did someone say something, did I see something…

The answer is: I don’t know, nothing unusual… the sun always comes into the room in the morning and the breeze too. What is different this time is, I get to sit myself down beside my bed and take a moment to feel the sense of peace and joy that is always available in each moment.

I notice that no stressful thoughts come up to oppose this moment… not yet…. not yet……
And I am always open to seeing them for I now know what to do with these honorable guests. 😉

I love me when I am kind to you.

I had a big realization today.

I felt a joy inside of me today.  The joy came from me being kind to people I love.  I love how I talk to my nephews, how I encourage Jaden, how I let him know that he is the best violinist, that I am so proud of him, how I tell Danny what is happening when he is not around, hahaha…
I realized that it didn’t come from people being kind to me.  And I remembered times when people were “trying” to be kind to me, I didn’t even notice it, and when I did, I couldn’t even take it in.

The bottom line is:

I love me when I am kind to you.
I love me when I am kind to myself.

 

The greatest gift in this apparent loss

“If you move into situations of loss in a spirit of surrender to what is, all you experience is a profound sweetness and an excitement about what can come out of the apparent loss. You see that the worst loss you’ve experienced is the greatest gift you can have. ” — Byron Katie

 

As I read about the mass shooting of adults and over 20 young children in an elementary school in Connecticut, I thought about what gifts that was to this world.  The amount of hearts that this event will break open.  I have a thought that if I speak this outloud, I may be scorned upon as cruel and emotionless.

I remembered a few years back, a participant in my Singapore workshop came to work on her massive sadness with the passing of her dog. “He shouldn’t die” and when turnaround to “He should die”, she was shocked and was angry with that turnaround and had judgements about The Work at that time.  And a few months back when we got to catch up over tea, she told me that what got her through the sadness was to see the gift of his death, of how this apparent loss was the greatest gift she has ever had.  The gratitude she felt just changed her life and all she is left with is gratitude for what is.